My Friend Is Going Into Hospital Next Week For Breast Cancer Treatment. What Can I Do To Help.?
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Topics:
Breast, breast cancer, breast cancer treatment, Cancer, Friend, Going, Goody Bag, Help, Hospital, Into, Next, Treatment, Week
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I’d rattling same to attain up a wee goody activity to provide her to verify in to hospital. If anyone has been finished this or meet has some beatific ideas – what category of things could I place in it?
When a close friend is diagnosed with cancer, you may be confused, scared, sad, angry, or everything in between. It is normal to feel unsure about how to behave around your friend, but these tips will help you overcome your uncertainty and feel more comfortable as you help your friend deal with his or her illness.
Step1
Let your relationship be your guide. You know what kind of relationship you have with your friend, and what he or she responds to.
Step2
Accept whatever emotions your friend may display. He or she may be angry, sad, scared, and anything in between. Don’t take it personally: he or she is not angry at you, just at the situation. Make sure your friend understands that you don’t blame him/her for those emotions, and that you understand that they are not directed at you personally.
Step3
Unless you personally have had cancer, it may be best to avoid saying “I know what you’re going through”. Instead, say “I can only imagine how you feel”.
Step4
Don’t underestimate the value of the small things. Just knowing that you are there to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on can mean all the difference. Don’t think that you’re not doing enough just by being there.
Step5
Don’t force your friend to talk about it, but make sure he or she knows that you’re available if they do want to talk. Don’t shut yourself out for fear of saying the wrong thing or not knowing what to say. Sometimes all it takes is a person to listen.
Step6
Don’t avoid the elephant in the room, but don’t make it the central focus of every conversation. A simple “how are you feeling today?” or “is there anything I can do for you?” can let your friend know that you care and acknowledge his or her illness. Some people feel awkward bringing it up, but unless your friend has adamantly stated that they don’t want to talk about it, a simple gesture can make sure your friend doesn’t feel like you’re avoiding the situation.
Step7
Stay in touch as often as is reasonable and possible. Even if you don’t talk about your friend’s illness, staying in touch will make sure that your friend doesn’t feel like you’re avoiding him or her because of the illness.
Step8
Try to keep things as normal as possible. If your friend is healthy enough and is willing to do so, go out and do the things that you did before.
Step9
If the clinic allows it, offer to go along with your friend to his or her chemotherapy session. Chemotherapy can be scary, and having a hand to hold can be helpful.
Step10
While you should stay in touch and try to help, don’t overstep your boundaries. Try to be careful not to overshadow a spouse or other close relative. This is where letting your relationship with your friend guide you is helpful.
Step11
Be open with your emotions and take care of yourself, too. If you’re scared or mad, talk about it with someone.
Step12
If you know someone else who has gone through cancer, consider inviting him/her to meet your friend to talk about their experience.
the best support you can give is be there as a friend and what you put in the goody bag that is nice but more important she needs you as a friend to encourage her and be there…and listen if she wants to talk about her fears and if she doesn’t want to talk about this and want you to talk to her about normal everyday stuff… and give her a laugh.. if she wants that .. then talk about the things you used to chat about before she got cancer and drop the subject of cancer but if she want to talk then listen…That is the best help you can give her. your friendship…and knowing you are her friend now just as much as before the diagnosis.. that it does not make a difference to your friendship …xxx
I’ve had two close friends who had breast cancer and underwent surgery,chemo and radiation. They don’t know each other, but they both said the same thing: of all the things that people did, said, or gave them to help get through it, what helped the most was one book: Chicken Soup for the Breast Cancer Survivor’s Soul: Stories to Inspire, Support and Heal .
I’ll say a prayer for your friend, and bless you for wanting to help her.http://www.amazon.com/Chicken-Soup-Breas…
I agree with Vera and the originalquestmaker.(I think I got that name right) Support is the best thing. I know this may sound silly, but if you really have your heart set on a “goodie bag,” maybe you could give her a coupon book that you would have to make. Put coupons in there with inspirational things or little things you can do for her such as “free help with housekeeping.” Another idea….dove chocolate wrappers have inspirational sayings on the inside. Of course, give her the chocolate too. Its always kind of fun to read them. If your friend is going to get chemo, she will probably be losing hair. Maybe a “dew rag” or some other form of cap to keep her head warm. I hear these are huge when a cancer patient loses their hair. She may also become weak, so maybe offers to cook, clean, do daily chores, or whatever other things she may need would be a good idea to offer. Good luck. Hope things turn out well.
i know this isnt what you asked for but
please take this into consideration…..
theres this stuff called ‘ immunocal’ it is amazing. we’ve had a friend thathad five months to live. he had cancer everywhere. he was 22 and at the prime of his life when this happened. he lost his hair and looked sickly…until he was put on immunocal. that was two years ago. he is now living healthier than ever…like he should be. its made from an all natural whey protein…giving the same effect as mothers milk i believe. honestly, i have no idea how it works. i just know that if i ever begin to have trouble with cancer…which i will considering all my family so far has died of cancer…i will use this. just please tell your friend about it…it would be great for her just to have it after her surgery. look it up..i dont sell it and im not trying to sell this to you…but its worth looking into!
chapstick, hydrating lotion, face moisturizer, toothpaste, toothbrush, warm hats or scarves, nail polish, snacks… You can also bring her some home cooked meals or throw her a “scarf & hat shower” if she is going to lose her hair… Its a great way for others to show their support and its actually really fun!
Vera is right. Most importantly be a friend.
As far as a goody bag, Get things that will keep her mind entertained since hospitals are boring. Books, magazines, DVDs if the room has a player (call the hospital and ask).
There’s some really good suggestions on things you can do for friends that have cancer on http://www.cancer-roadmap.com/gifts-for-cancer-patients.html.